Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. - Malcom Forbes
Lately, I've received quite a few calls from friends and former colleagues who have experienced the devastating reality of losing their jobs. Their worlds have been turned upside down.
There was an employment agreement. Salaries and benefits were exchanged for the work they delivered. But what they truly brought to the proverbial table—their talents, skills, experience, and passion—was the real value they offered their organizations.
As a recruiter for a variety of corporations over the years, I frequently witnessed a phenomenon I used to refer to as corporate bulimia. Companies would go on hiring frenzies, gorging on talent to staff up departments, only to conduct layoffs shortly thereafter—regurgitating that same talent right out the door, as if those people had suddenly become disposable.
Unfortunately, this has become an all-too-familiar corporate practice.
"It's just business. Don't take it personally."
But it's hard not to.
For many people, their identity is closely tied to their work and professional titles. When a company suddenly decides their services are no longer needed, it can shake their sense of self-worth and leave them questioning whether they were ever truly valued.
Imagine being a competent, dedicated employee who has poured your heart and soul into a role, only to be escorted out of the building carrying a box of your personal belongings. In an instant, you can go from feeling like an integral part of an organization to feeling unwanted or unappreciated.
That hits the ego hard.
So, who determines whether you are worthy?
You do.
I've experienced job loss myself a few times in my career. After the initial shock subsided, all the internal demons showed up, whispering that I had somehow been deemed unworthy or that I simply wasn't enough.
I kept asking myself, "Why didn't they appreciate my value?"
But the truth was, I hadn't fully recognized my own value, either.
As I navigated the personal crisis of losing my job, I realized I had a choice to make.
I could allow someone else's business decision to define my sense of worth. I could accept the notion that I wasn't good enough and that my contributions weren't appreciated.
Or I could recognize that losing my job was not necessarily a reflection of anything I lacked. Perhaps it was a nudge to honor myself and redirect my energy toward opportunities that would recognize and value my talents and everything else I had to offer.
I chose to believe in myself. I took the time to envision what a better path might look like—and, most importantly, to believe I was worthy of finding it.
Worthiness Goes Beyond What We Do
Many of us have been conditioned to measure our worth in financial terms: net worth. We measure success by the positions we've held, the titles we've earned, how far we've climbed the corporate ladder, and what we've accomplished along the way.
But worthiness runs much deeper than our professional or financial achievements.
Our sense of self-worth is rooted in whether we believe we are deserving of love, care, and belonging. It comes from recognizing our inherent value and understanding that we are enough, simply because we exist.
Renowned researcher, professor, author, and podcaster Brené Brown has spent decades studying vulnerability, courage, shame, and worthiness. Her research suggests that many of us unconsciously attach our sense of worth to external measures such as achievement, appearance, approval, being perceived as good, or receiving love and acceptance from others.
When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible. - Brené Brown
Ideally, our sense of worthiness begins in childhood, when we experience unconditional love and acceptance. We learn that we don't have to accomplish, produce, or prove anything to deserve love.
At its core, worthiness is the understanding that we don't have to earn or prove our right to exist.
Every human being deserves love, dignity, happiness, and the opportunity to experience good things in life.
When we have a healthy sense of self-worth, we are less likely to accept a job that consistently devalues our contributions or remain in a relationship with someone who treats us poorly.
We begin to understand the difference between what we are willing to accept and what we truly deserve.
The Value You Become
As I was writing this post, an interesting video appeared in my LinkedIn feed. It featured black-and-white footage of a man speaking to an audience. The video was titled, "This Speech Has Created More Billionaires Than Any School Ever Could."
The speaker talked about a simple economic principle that he claimed could work for everyone:
"You get paid for bringing economic value to the marketplace. The value you bring is only one part of it. The more important part is the value you become."
That last sentence really resonated with me.
Contrary to what we've been conditioned to believe, our value is not defined by what we do for a living, the title on our business card, or the paycheck we receive.
It's about who we become along the way.
Our character, integrity, wisdom, resilience, compassion, and ability to contribute to the lives of others are all part of the value we bring to the world.
And none of those things disappear when we lose a job, change careers, retire, or walk away from a role that no longer serves us.
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field
Go Where You Are Valued
We need to shed the constructs that have taught us to measure our worth according to someone else's definition—especially those that no longer align with who we are becoming.
I'm reminded of the famous experiment involving world-renowned violinist Joshua Bell, organized by The Washington Post in 2007.
Bell performed for approximately 45 minutes in a Washington, D.C., subway station. He played a $3.5 million Stradivarius violin, displaying the extraordinary musical talent that regularly draws audiences to sold-out concert halls.
Yet, in the hustle and bustle of an ordinary morning commute, most passersby barely noticed him. Only a handful stopped to listen.
Think about that.
An extraordinary musician, sharing extraordinary music, in an environment where most people failed to recognize what was right in front of them.
The message?
In the wrong environment, even the extraordinary can go unnoticed.
The lesson?
Go where you are valued.
Go where people appreciate who you are, recognize what you bring to the table, and see the value in what you have to offer.
And remember, this wisdom applies to every aspect of your life: your work and your relationships - most importantly your relationship with yourself.
Don't allow someone else's inability to recognize your value to diminish your belief in yourself.
Know your worth. Honor your worth. And never forget that your worth was never theirs to determine.
Value yourself. And be impossible to overlook.
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With love and laughter,
Annie @The Positive People Project. 🌞
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